One of the biggest barriers to our happiness, success, satisfaction in life is plain old resistance.
What do I mean by that?
Resistance is what we experience when we hold back, when we try to control all the minute details of how our desire will unfold.
You know how this works. You start out with a desire…. let’s say “hot new lover”. And that feels great when you think how fun it will be.
But then – if you’ve been in a habit of doing things the mainstream muggle way – you begin planning out the details. You start trying to figure out the HOW, the WHEN, the WHERE, the WHO. And those work like limitations on what Universe can deliver (and on what your brain can let you perceive).
If you’re thinking “new hot lover” can only come from online dating sites, there’s a chance you’ll miss the cute library guy who’s trying to catch your eye.
If you think he has to turn up RIGHT NOW in order for you to be happy, that tension is going to impact how you relate to all potential new lovers so they’ll feel kinda uncomfortable around you (and we know how THAT turns out)
And if you think he has to be local, you might miss out on the fabulous man on the other side of the planet, who is happy to move to where you are (or maybe lives in a palace you can’t wait to relocate to!).
So here’s the neat part – I get a MUCH better outcome if I let go of the need to control how the journey takes place.
Here’s how it feels to me, when I remember to let go of resistance and the need to control.
It feels like I’m riding a bicycle over beautiful, gently undulating grassy hills. When I grip the handlebars, sweaty-palmed and teeth clenched, the bike begins to fight me. The wheels catch in unseen dips, pedalling becomes insanely difficult and I can feel the bike wobbling underneath me. The terrain gets rougher and rougher until I know I’m about to fall off.
And then, I remember to let go. To lift my hands away. In fact, I’ll often mirror that action – literally flinging my hands up to my shoulders, palms facing forward in a gesture of releasing and surrendering. That does two things: it makes me laugh (which is ALWAYS a good thing, right?); and it reminds me to let Universe do the work instead of me trying to micromanage it.
Look Ma, no hands!
Instantly I can feel the bike right itself, the ground flatten out until it’s like gliding on the smoothest pavement and a magical force drawing us forward so I don’t even need to pedal.
THAT is what letting go of resistance feels like. And it works.
Have you ever found yourself struggling, really struggling, to resolve a problem or an issue. And you’ve finally thrown up your hands and said “screw it, that’s enough!” and walked away – and the solution has come almost instantly, or at least the very next day? It’s happened to me.
Some years ago I auditioned for a role I desperately wanted. I did everything I could to get it. But I walked out feeling there was no chance, I’d probably screwed it up (I hadn’t, but that didn’t stop me feeling that way). That night I finally stopped plastering a veneer of cheerfulness over everything and surrendered to the despair. I cried and howled and beat my pillow. Not for long – maybe five minutes – but at the end of it, I felt completely drained and so much better. I fell asleep knowing that it no longer mattered whether I got the job. I literally didn’t care either way. And yes, I got the job, as one of the elite team of puppeteers on the movie Babe.
I still have days where I think I can control life simply by taking action. I do know better, and each time I catch myself doing it, I know it’s time to let go of the handlebars.
Because when we take care of our alignment and let Universe do the rest, life is so much better.
That’s when we get to say “look Ma, no hands!”