And before you think I’m about to bag the whole coaching industry, let me be clear.
I am a habitual hirer of coaches. I have some AH-MAZING coaches on my speed dial.
And of course, I AM a coach.
But there are some situations where not hiring a coach might be your best option.
Dissing your inner guidance
A few years ago, I was approached by a lovely woman about being one of the experts for a summit she was planning to host. We got on like the proverbial house on fire, and we were so aligned in our approach and our thinking that we started completing each other’s sentences.
It was a match made in heaven!
But then came the catch.
She was organising the summit under instruction from her business coach.
Her coach had rules about the summit. My new friend could only include experts who had an email list of at least 5000 people. At that time, my list was about 700.
This woman, with whom I would have LOVED to work, had to bounce me.
She was practically in tears as she explained this. She was embarrassed and humiliated – and worst of all, both of us knew that her people would be missing out on something wonderful.
Can you see the problem?
My new friend’s inner guidance wanted me at the party, and I’ve no doubt it would have been awesome! But her coach insisted she ignore her own inner guidance, while applying a draconian and arbitrary set of rules which were not in service of this lass or her people.
Your coach doesn’t just need to honour your inner guidance. She or he needs to show YOU how to honour your inner guidance.
If your potential new coach believes they know better than your own guidance, say “thanks but no thanks”.
Big scary debt
If your potential coach tries to convince you to spend a big chunk of change that you don’t currently have, in order to “invest in yourself”, and if going into big debt scares the pants off you – then RUN.
There are plenty of people who have the funds to easily pay for that coach.
And there are some folks who can deliberately go into major debt, and genuinely feel no stress about it.
If that’s you, then ignore this one and go ahead.
I have no problem with coaches being well paid. And I have no problem with some coaches choosing to only work for those who have plenty of cash to splash.
But if spending big money you don’t currently have is going to create big stress, that is unhelpful to the coaching process, unhelpful to your vibration, unhelpful to your brain’s capacity for wide horizons of possibility.
That’s not because going into debt is a ‘bad’ action. It’s because doing something that kinks up your vibration is a bad idea.
Because with a kinked up vibration, you may not get as much out of the work as your potential coach thinks you should.
If you’re feeling pressured to buy, and you don’t have the cash to easily pay for the coach you’re in conversation with; and if you’re wary or nervous about debt – then that’s a pretty good sign this coaching relationship is not your best path forward.
You get to say “not right now” and look for a better option. There are opportunities to get coached for free by some coaches (check out various coach training programs such as Good Vibe Coach Academy for opportunities). There are also opportunities to participate in powerful group coaching programs. (I even offer those myself sometimes)
Perhaps their political views make you flinch.
Or perhaps their timeframes don’t work for you.
Or perhaps they have strong views on the “only” paths to success in the area you want coaching in.
Or perhaps their style is just not a good match.
I know a brilliant coach whose principles and values line up perfectly with my own. She’s a delightful person and she cares deeply about her clients. She’s generous with her time and energy, and she adores the people she works with.
But the way she likes to work is almost directly the opposite of how I like to work.
I love her to bits, and I will happily share her links on Facebook from time to time – but I know she’s not “MY” coach because our styles are so radically different.
She’s full on fire, while I’m more air and earth.
That’s totally okay!
And it’s a good reason for me not to be coached by her.
Even though I love her to bits.
And one reason why you should
A client of mine emailed me a couple of days ago with a follow up question from some work we’d done recently. They finished up with an almost apologetic comment “I know I should know this stuff but I just can’t see it”.
That’s it, right there.
As my own coach, Lisa Hayes, would say – we live inside our own programming so there are times we cannot see the coding errors
That’s why I hire a coach.
Not to solve my problems for me, or to ‘fix me’ when I think I am broken (because I’m never ‘broken’) – but to help me see the coding errors, to hold the lamp while I find my own way out of the forest, and to give me unwavering support and encouragement as I learn to listen to my own guidance.
If that’s where you’re at, then absolutely hire a coach.
If you’re feeling broken and you need someone to remind you that you’re not.
If you’re feeling stuck in the dark and you need someone to hold the lamp.
If you just need that unwavering support while you get your feet back underneath you, ready to move forward…
… then you’re ready to hire a coach.
Just make sure to look for someone who will help you find and trust your own guidance; someone who won’t tell you to spend big money you can’t afford right now; someone who FEELS like a good fit.
Because doing it all alone, all the time isn’t fun and it isn’t always effective.
Finding that right coach for you is SOOOO worth it.
(And PS if you think I might be that right-fit coach for you, I’d be over the moon. And if I’m not, then PLEASE – don’t hire me!)